I have no idea why I am writing this, but I have to tell someone, get this out of me.

I feel like I am losing it, all day long I shift back and forth between panic and mind numbing depression. I can’t go outside anymore, I hardly leave my room. I have dreams about hurting myself. I just want to be sane, to stop hurting but I am losing my grip on reality.

I started losing time again, I was integrated for the better part of two years, maybe it was all a lie though. Maybe my existence is a lie. I just don’t know what to do anymore.